Category Archives: marriage

A Must Read Marriage Story

I have read this story before as it was being circulated in one of the corporate emails, I just couldn’t remember when. Just today I was given a chance to read it once again it was linked in one of my friend’s facebook profile. This story was very touching that it will make you treasure your married life. For those who are single at the moment try also to read it still, who knows you might encounter the same situation in the future at least you would have an idea on the possibilities on how to resolve you married life problems. This is how the story begins:

MARRIAGEA MUST READ” (Please do share TO ALL)

by Ramon E Mendoza

Thursday, August 5, 2010

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6

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i love you mommy, but you don’t love me :(

I saw this article from one of my friends account again in facebook. I don’t know who wrote about this but I was touch with the story. I am against abortion that is why I’m posting this to my blog, to help spread the word about this inhumane doings of some.

Hi, Mommy. I’m your baby. You don’t know me yet, I’m only a few weeks old. You’re going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I’ve got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don’t have it yet, but I will when I’m born. I’m going to be your only child, and you’ll call me your one and only. I’m going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We’ll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn’t wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! …He wasn’t happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don’t think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don’t think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay… but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That’s a sound I don’t like. It doesn’t make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I’m not sure if I do. It wasn’t right. You say he loves you… why would he hurt you? I don’t like it, Mommy.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you’re so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I’m happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn’t talking right. He said he didn’t want you. I don’t know why, but that’s what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won’t let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don’t care if you think that he is a good person, I think he’s bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn’t want us. He doesn’t like me. Why doesn’t he like me, Mommy?

You didn’t talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It’s been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven’t talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don’t you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don’t you do that when you’re awake, any more?

I’m 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren’t you proud of me? We’re going somewhere today, and it’s somewhere new. I’m excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you’re as excited as I am. I can’t wait.

…Mommy, I’m getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don’t know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something’s going to happen soon. I’m really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don’t worry Mommy, I’m safe. I’m in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it’s called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don’t you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I’m really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don’t you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn’t I love you enough? Please say you’ll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don’t want to be here, I want you to love me again! I’m really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you’re against abortion, reblog.

or like it on Facebook so that others would know about this.

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Joe D’Mango Love Story

A friend sent me this email a few days ago. Just wanted to share this touching story

when you can’t fight for that one thing that would make you happy…
…I may never be the guy you look forward to seeing every day…
…but I will always be the guy who will look out for you each and every day.

Of course you’ve  heard of Joe D’Mango. He gives advice / quotes on love and relationships on Wave 89.1 ( Philippines ) . Have you ever wondered what he does when he has his own love problems?  Does he give advice to himself? Does he handle it very well?Three  fridays ago, our guru on relationships, Joe D’Mango, read a letter to his wife on his popular radio program Love Notes.  For the past 11 years, he had been giving advice to people who would write him letters

about their  personal problems. To the surprise of his listeners that
Friday, instead of  reading one of his usual letters, he read one that he
had written himself to his wife Bing. Joe felt that he had to tell his
listeners that even someone like him could go through a marital crisis, but that he survived it. Here’s how his letter goes:” In our 11 years of marriage it was just the two of us. I never had a close circle of friends and she never had one either.  Life for us was just “you and me,” day in and day out. We were literally  sleeping beside each other for 11 years. It came to a point that there was nothing more interesting to talk about. I was aware I was doing that but I never did anything about it. We were so close yet it seemed like we were so distant. Then came her new circle of friends.

They recently had an  elementary and high school reunion. Remember her
persistent suitor since elementary days? He was there. We already had four daughters and the guy had four kids of his own. They exchanged phone numbers. They started to text each other and this bothered me. A big part of it was insecurity and other part was that she once denied that she was texting the guy.

I felt  bad because she started hiding things from me. Then the guy asked her if they could meet for lunch. It became a source of tension between us.

I finally agreed, but before that, I told her that I felt that I was going
through the same pain again. I have seen so many stories like this. If you
told me the first part of the story, I would already know where it would
lead to.

Bing accused me of being a “know-it-all” person. But deep in my heart, I

knew where she was heading. Why would a married guy see a married girl unless it was for business or professional reasons? Finally, even if it was against my will, I drove her to the meeting place.

 

While I was waiting at the radio station, I wanted to call her but knew it wasn’t proper. So I just waited for her to tell me how their meeting went.

 

When she related to me what happened I felt that she was keeping the other details. I was afraid to ask because I wasn’t prepared to accept her answers. I told her that it would be best if that was their last meeting.
She got mad and told me that I was starting to control her life.

 

The following day, I saw a small, torn piece of paper that had the words,
“lose you” in the trash can at home.  I started picking up the pieces of
paper and putting them together. She had  written: “Felt sad because I felt that this will be our last meeting.”  ”Wanted to hug you…” Before I could figure out what the third one was, Bing was already at my back. She wanted to get the torn pieces of paper back.  She said it was private property. We decided to talk.

 

By then, I was able to figure out the third line: “Not sure if afraid to
lose you.”  She had crossed it out and beside it, she had written, “Wanted to cry.”

 

That was what hit me. How could you lose something that’s not even with you yet? That was a confirmation that she was getting emotionally attached to the guy. We fought because she didn’t want to admit it. She said that what she had written was all about friendship and not about love. For the first time in our marriage she asked for freedom from me. For 11 years we were always together, and now this.

 

She had discovered her own little world and wanted to explore it. I didn’t want to give it to her but finally I gave in. I told her that she could do anything she wanted and not worry about how I would feel. In fact, I told her that I was planning to leave her and kids for a while so we could give each other the chance to be alone. We decided to give the new arrangement a try.

 

The following day, Thursday, I went to work early and she texted me. I
never answered back.  When I didn’t respond, she called me. She said, “I’m sorry. I love you and I  miss you.” For the first time in our mariage I said, “I love you and I miss you too” with tears in my eyes.

 

I realized how much I loved her but I also knew how much she wanted her freedom. When I arrived at the station I asked for a leave. My boss advised me to think it over, but he said that he would allow me to go on leave.
After letting it all out I felt relieved. It was the first time in my life
that I asked for advice about our relationship.

 

While I was talking with my boss, a messenger arrived with 12 white roses arranged in a basket. It came from Bing. Then a text message on my cellphone came, “I know that no material things can ease the pain that you’re feeling right now, but these flowers signify my pure and sincere
intentions.  I’m really sorry. Please forgive  me.”

 

Still, a question continued to bug me: “I’m giving you the freedom.  Will
you choose to stay or go on?” I read the card, and it had the answer to my question: “Dear Dad, I finally realized that I made a very big mistake in choosing a new-found friendship at the expense of our long-time friendship.
Please forgive me. I wil always love you.”

 

Bing  called the guy and told him that she wanted to end the friendship.
He said that they could just text or call each other.  Bing said that there was no need.

 

We had dinner and talked up to 1 am. It was like getting married all over again. We lost each other and found our way back. I do not want to go
through the same pain again.

 

Friday came and it was the first  time in the history of Love Notes that I couldn’t do Love Notes. I scheduled a replay. When I was at the station at 9 am, I composed a letter to Bing. I  was asking myself, should I read this or do a replay? I chose to read the  letter. It is not unusual to hear people say “I love you because…,” but  this story has shown us that the deeper and greater love is having to say

 

“I LOVE YOU IN SPITE OF…”

 

What hurts  most?

 

…when you can’t fight for that one thing that would make you happy…
…I may never be the guy you look forward to seeing every day…
…but I will always be the guy who will look out for you each and every day…

 

Sad Girl: “don’t make me feel that i’m just a selfish jerk just  because I

 

made you cry”!

 

Sad Guy: “then don’t make me feel like I did nothing for you when I almost died crying  just to see you smile…”Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And some ask ourselves: Will our actions echo across the centuries?

 

Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?

 

Love isn’t when you can’t sleep … it’s when you want to keep your eyes
open…

 

Love isn’t when you keep holding on … it’s when you learn to let go …

 

Love isn’t when you kill yourself with jealousy … it’s when you
understand …

 

Love isnt’ when you fall for someone … it’s when you catch that person
when she falls…

 

Love isn’t when you see her everywhere … it’s when you close your eyes
and she is still there …Love isn’t when you tell her what you feel … it’s when you give
everything for her sake…And Love isn’t  when you think you were blind … it’s when you know she
was wrong but you didn’t mind!

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